The Milk!!

Sharing the house with my roommates is a different living situation than I'm used to. More than roommates, it's like we're a family, so we all share the responsibilities- you don't just clean your own dishes or cook just for yourself, but whenever you do one of these tasks, you do it for everyone. Because of this, we try to rotate, so that it's not always the same person doing the dishes or cooking for the rest of the house. For some of the tasks, like taking out the trash or buying milk, I recently found out that we take turns. If the person who's turn it is doesn't do whatever needs to be done when it needs to be done, someone else will do it for them. Two of my roommates, especially, try to avoid confrontation at all cost, so they would rather do it themselves than have to tell you to do it. I'm trying really hard to keep track of when it's my turn, and also doing just do it whatever needs to be done for the house so it's fair for everyone.

When I moved in, I was first a guest in the house, so my roommates wanted to do everything for me. I also got sick right at the beginning, so not only was I treated like a guest, but they were also taking care of me. Since I also live in the house, I want to take a part in the responsibilities of the household and show my roommates that I, too, can be a good housewife. Little by little, beginning when I started to feel better they started letting me do more things- doing the dishes, participating in the Wednesday cleaning day "party", etc.

Every morning, before we go to school, we either drink tea or milk (or Nescafe)- by the way, there's two types of coffee, Arab coffee(pretty strong), which is what they call coffee, and instant coffee that they mix with hot milk, which they call Nescafe. It is usually the person that gets up earliest that prepares tea, milk or Nescafe- boiling water or milk- for whoever else is awake.

Most of the days, it is someone else that prepares the morning beverage, so I wanted to contribute to the house in the morning and prepare the milk for someone else. It was also my turn to buy the milk, but it seemed like there was enough for me and Maram (the only ones who were at the house that day- Mai left earlier and Areej had spent the night at her sister's), which meant I didn't have to necessarily go out and buy milk in the morning, but I could wait until after school.

I woke up a little earlier to check on the milk situation and see how much there was left. There was just enough milk for the both of us, so I put it on the stove and waited for it to be hot. I started doing other things and kind of forgot about the milk. I was getting my jacket from my room, when I heard the milk boiling and overflowing...oops! I still served it on both of our cups, thinking I had just made a mess, but when I poured all the milk, I looked at the bottom of the sauce pan-type instrument I was using and it was all black...great! I burnt the milk! I was mortified; I had finally started trying to participate more in household activities and I failed!! I thought my good-housewife skills would be under scrutiny if my roommies found out, so I tried to do everything I could so no one would ever know I burnt the milk.

I cleaned up the mess, put the pot in hot water and I left the house running to the little store close by to buy some milk. I came back, put the milk on the stove while at the same time scrubbing the other pot trying to clean it off. I don't know if you've ever burnt milk, but it's SUPER difficult to clean. I was scrubbing like there's no tomorrow, as fast as I could before Maram finished getting ready. Thankfully, she took longer than usual, so I had a little extra time to scrub a little extra hard, but it wasn't working. I put a ton of the super strong cleaning product, soap...nothing. It wasn't coming off. Finally, Maram was done getting ready and asked what was taking so long. I had to confess. She was pretty understanding, but I was embarrassed.

She told me to leave it, that we'd take care of it after school- but that meant the other roommates would see it and know about my milk burning incident. The worst scenario I was envisioning would have been to come home and find that Mai (who usually gets home earlier than us) scrubbed the whole thing for me. Then, not only would I have been the incompetent one that burnt the milk, but also the incompetent one that couldn't clean it...Fortunately enough, we came back home and Mai wasn't there yet- the pot was there, just like I had left it.

Areej was preparing lunch, and meanwhile, I continued scrubbing the pot. She asked why I was cleaning it so much, so I had to tell her. She said we had something that would make scrubbing easier and not to worry about it.

After three different times trying to scrub the burnt milk off the pot, I finally got it off. I learnt my lesson to pay attention to the milk, and hopefully my housewife reputation wasn't affected too much by this incident.

Beit Safafa

Yesterday, I learned that Beit Safafa, where I live, used to be two different villages and it became one in 1967. There's two parts to Beit Safafa: the '48 part and the '67 part. One of them used to be a part of the West Bank, but after the '67 war both parts were reunited under Israel. It is still an Arab neighborhood, though. It is mostly Israeli Arabs that live here- most of them come from Northern villages (just like my roommates) to study and work because there are no jobs where they live. From my experience, together with people's reactions when I tell them where I live, I think it's a pretty nice and reputable place to live (if you're Arab).

There are, however, some problems due to the fact that it is an Arab village. Don't freak out! It's a safe place and the houses here are great, but the infrastructure of the neighborhood is pretty bad. First, the streets have no names or numbers, so the mail doesn't get to this part of town. Also, some of the roads are paved, others not so much, and others are just dirt roads. 

Another thing about living here is that the Israeli bus system does not pass through this neighborhood- the closest stop is at about a 20 minute walk from my house, right outside of Beit Safafa. To try to make up for the lack of service provided in this area, there is a mini-bus that takes people from these not-so-well-communicated areas to the rest of Jerusalem. The bus costs less than the Israeli bus, but it doesn't pass by that often. It makes being independent (in terms of transportation) a real challenge.

I love living in Beit Safafa, but sometimes it can be a pain. 

Living La Vida Arabe

This post is dedicated to Nadgey (my sister), who suggested this title for one of my blog entries after I told her what I was doing that day...

As you know, I live with three lovely Arab Muslim women. They are pretty conservative, and just typical Arab women. They are also single, but preparing for their future married lives (in shah Allah- God willing). As future wifeys they perform all the duties a good wife has to do; mainly cooking and cleaning.

On the cooking subject, I will say that every day we cook and eat together, at least one meal. We have a pretty different eating schedule, though, and I'm still getting used to it. Every morning, when we wake up whoever's in the kitchen first (meaning, whoever it takes less time to wake up that morning) makes tea/coffee for the rest of the house. Then, before leaving for school, we try to have the dishes from breakfast washed (that's how clean we are).

After school, at about 3.30-4pm, when we are all back home, we start preparing lunch- my roommies are teaching me all of these great recipes, so I'm becoming an expert in Middle Eastern cuisine :). Anyways, when lunch is ready, we all sit together and have our big meal. I've learned that, even at my house, I need to serve myself twice- that's just how it is- so I now know to not serve as much the first time (I'm gaining so much weight!). After lunch, it's as though there is a race to see who can get up and do the dishes faster...they need to be done right away, though. It's great!

Besides doing the dishes right away, let me tell you about the cleaning products we use. One of the first days I was washing dishes, I noticed two bottles of soap; one had the regular green dish-washing soap in it (like Dawn or Fairy) and the other one is filled with a clear-yellowish liquid. I asked which one I should use and they said a little bit of both; the green one to clean and the yellowish one for the smell. Guess what the yellowish liquid is? I'm not entirely sure because I can't read or understand Hebrew, but I'm pretty sure it's some sort of bleach-based product. Also, we don't use gloves, so I need to invest on a good hand lotion.

Wednesdays in the house is cleaning day. We all have our jobs, so every Wednesday, we each take care of our part. I think they think I don't know how to clean because they gave me the easiest part...haha! I haven't understood if our duties rotate or if they always stay the same, but I hope they rotate because otherwise, it's not really fair.

Anyways, also on the topic of cleaning, let me tell you about the laundry situation in my house. There is a washing machine, but it's not what you would expect. It is semi-automatic, meaning, you have to manually start every cycle of the cleaning process. You put the clothes in the machine and fill it up with water and detergent; rotate the wheel to begin cycle and when it's done, you turn a different wheel to drain the water. You repeat the process for the fabric softener. Then you put the clothes on a different section of the machine for the spin cycle. Of course, there's no dryer here so we just hang the clothes. It's all a process!

This is pretty much all I do when I'm at home: eat and clean all while practicing my Arabic...Yesterday, Thursday, was the beginning of the weekend and all me and Areej did was go to the store to get her phone fixed, go grocery shopping, we cooked dinner and made a cheese cake from scratch. This morning, I woke up wanted to do some work, but ended up taking most of the morning doing laundry and reorganizing my drawers and other stuff like that. Oh yes, indeed, I lead an exciting life!

As you can see, I'm getting trained to be a good wife- learning to cook and clean way more and better than I did before...and some of you thought I was already a total mom!

Mediation Training

On Wednesday, after my tough day subbing for the first grade teacher at school, I went to the office to meet with Inas. The previous week I had been working on the "conflict resolution" project Inas told me she wanted me to develop.

I did some research and came across peer mediation programs. I thought it would be a good idea for the school, so I wrote a report about it, including a description of the program and the steps needed to implement it. I made a list of the resources necessary; I wrote about the materials I would need to buy, and the possibility of establishing a partnership with another organization in order to have them come in and offer the training. I even found a way to fund all of this! I won't bore you by going into detail, but I'll just say I did extensive research on the subject.

I came in on Wednesday knowing that if I had Inas' blessing, I could move forward with the project and get it going. I presented the project to her, but she wasn't thrilled. She told me the idea was good, but there were a few problems. She said she wanted me to develop the materials because she didn't want people from the outside coming in and giving the training- she said she wanted the project to be from Hand in Hand for Hand in Hand. The second and most important concern she raised was the issue of time. She said high school students (my first choice, in terms of who should receive the training, for various reasons) have too much on their plate given they have to prepare for their final test (kind of like the Israeli SAT). She said she doubted they could find any time for them to be trained...She suggested implementing the program at a younger age.

I'm not going to lie, I was pretty disappointed with how the meeting went, but I already had a meeting scheduled the next day with the educational counselor, Dorit, and the principal of the high school, Raeif. Earlier that week, I had talked to Dorit and told her about the project. She was very excited and looking forward to hearing what Inas had to say. When I came in on Wednesday, I met with her before meeting with Raeif, and told her about what Inas said. She told me before we took the high school students off the project, we should first meet with their teachers and explore if it is actually something they see value in. I agreed with her.

She contacted Raeif to see if we could still meet and asked if I could present my proposal to the high school teachers. In about five minutes, everyone was in the principal's office and I was asked to present. Just like that. I hadn't prepared a formal presentation, but I believe in my project, so I stood up in front of the teachers and explained my proposal. Everyone in the room loved my presentation, and after a few questions, they started talking about the number of hours they could give me, etc. Absolute success.

Inas wasn't in that meeting, so I still needed to handle the situation delicately; I didn't want her to feel as though our conversation didn't matter, but knowing that the high school wants the program should make a difference. I told her about the result of our meeting, and suggested that I develop new materials, as she asked, but that I do it from already existing materials. Therefore, this semester could be the pilot program that would help me build the materials for the future (I will be writing a mediation handbook at the end of the semester). I also asked her about the possibility of having a budget to purchase materials that may be useful to building the curriculum.

Here is what she responded:

Mariam

Sounds great. I am very impressed that you took the initiative and proposed the project. Which grades will be involved in this program? Which teachers? If you got their approval, then I certainly think you can start with the class and I agree with you. You can start with any materials you get hold of. I will bring you what I have and I am sure you can find more.

Regarding the costs of purchasing manuals or books, you may make a list of the materials you need and I can check the budget for such purposes. I don't think it will a problem.

You may start any time you are ready. 

best

Inas

How awesome is that?! I'm super stoked (as my friend Dave would say)!! Now, I really gotta get to work, but I couldn't be happier :)

To be Fair

Television can teach one so many things...

One of my roommates in San Diego loved to record all of these shows on tv. There were some that I watched as well, but sometimes I would watch some of the ones she had recorded for herself. Once, I watched the Tyra show (ok, maybe more than once...) and in the show there were these women who gave testimonies of the highly toxic products they put on their skin (and sometimes even their children's skin) to make it look fairer. They said they thought fair skin was so much more beautiful. 

After watching the show I became more aware of the issue of race and started paying closer attention especially to the media. One does realize that it is mostly white people that are on television, and that white is portrayed as better most of the times. 

When I moved in to my home in Jerusalem, I got sick, so for a few days I stayed home and I watched a ton of television. This ad caught my attention. It's for a face lotion called "Fair and Lovely". It's supposed to help with dark spots or something, but the before and after picture shows a brownish woman at first and a white woman in the after picture (and without the dark spots). The ad is in Arabic and I don't really understand the vocab relating to dark spots or pimples, but I thought it might just be a tactic to get people to buy that cream.

Last weekend, when I went to my roommate's village, we went to visit one of her numerous aunts. She's, I think, one of the most beautiful women I've seen in my life. I told Maram (my roommate), and she said she agreed with me. She said "even though she's dark, she's beautiful". I was shocked by her comment and said "what? did you say even though she's dark?". She then proceeded to tell me that fair skin is preferred in the Arab society, and that fair-skinned women are considered more beautiful. I was surprised she answered like that. What was more surprising was that she said it in front of her aunt, who agreed with Maram's statement.

Today, I was watching tv with my roommate Areej as we ate dinner, and that same "Fair and Lovely" ad came on. I decided to ask her about it. She said the same thing, and even added that from her sisters, it was easier for the ones with fairer skin to get married.

I guess the media's message that white is better has had an impact all over the world...unfortunately

Wednesdays

In my original schedule, I had planned to go into the office (not school) on Wednesdays and Sundays. The other day, however, Nadia (one of the principals) asked me to come in for a couple of hours on Wednesdays because they REALLY need my help at the school, she said. She asked that I come from 10am to 12pm, which is right in the middle of the day. I was thinking to go to school in the mornings with my roommies and after 12pm go to the office to spend the rest of my work day. 

Yesterday was my first Wednesday on the new plan, but I wanted to try it out before I actually commit to spitting my Wednesdays into half school and half office days- it's pretty sweet that I have the flexibility to make decisions about my schedule like that. I went to school and did some work at the teacher's lounge until 9.45am (first two class periods) and then there's a half an hour break, when, usually, teachers eat a morning snack, and the side of the room with the tea and coffee gets super crowded!

A little bit before break yesterday, though, a bunch of teachers, and other staff came in the teacher's lounge and started uncovering huge bowls of food and preparing some salad. At 9.45am, as soon as the bell rang to indicate end of first two class periods, the feast began. I had seen tons of food one of the days the previous week (couldn't remember when) but I thought it was because it was someone's birthday or something. Well, as it turns out, every Wednesday at school there's food! The Elementary and Junior High have a staff meeting, and the teachers agreed that they'd take turns and, each week, the teachers from one of the grades bring food. Pretty neat, don't you think?

I was starting to really like the fact that I was going to be at school  on Wednesdays and then, they told me to go talk to Dafna. This is the teacher, I was told, REALLY needed my help- she's super nice, I actually really like her. Well, there's a new volunteer from the US at the school. His name is Brandon. They got him to do it, so I didn't really need to be there. 

Of course, there's always something to be done, and they had a little crisis that they hoped I could resolve. They took me to a first grade class. The teacher wasn't there that day, so...yes, I had to sub...again. To tell you the truth, I was NOT excited about this, given my previous experience. Subbing with the teenagers was difficult, but the first graders were about to show me, it's not easy with them either as I faced an additional challenge: language. These children are six and they "only" speak Hebrew and Arabic, which means, no English. 

The principal took me to the class, and explained to the kids what they needed to do- gave them some papers and told them to each to their work. As a side note, I found it very interesting that some of the kids got the worksheet in Hebrew and some in Arabic. I was trying to figure out if each of the kids was getting it in their mother tongue (since they're in the first grade) or in their second language- I think they were getting it in their first language, but this is me totally judging from what the children looked like and in what language the worksheet they were getting was. 

Anyways, as soon as the principal left, they all sat quietly and did their work. Just as it did with the seventh graders, this lasted for about 10 minutes- great! I still had to be there for another hour and twenty...If I had learnt anything subbing at the other classes, it was that you need to impose the rules right in the beginning, or else, it's over. I stood up and started speaking English to the kids.  It was a good attempt, but after the first sentence and seeing the children's blank faces, I realized I wasn't going to get very far.

I switched to "Arabic"; told them my name and that they needed to be seated and do their work. I tried to do this with a serious face and authoritative tone of voice, and wanted to make sure whatever I said in Arabic, I said without making a mistake (how horrible would it be to have all of those six-year-olds laughing at me...). 

After my two or three sentences, with which I wanted to establish my authority, one of the kids raised her hand and said: "My name is Juliana" (in Arabic) and smiled. With all the seriousness and being so focused, Juliana caught me totally off guard and after a second of not knowing what to say, I just smiled. When they saw me smile, every kid in the class started shouting their name...with the noise and chaos, they started standing up, and moving around...well, that didn't go as planned! 

So, plan B: Become a police woman. 

After a few minutes, I kind of got control over the class, but this only happened after I confiscated two kids' card collections and started giving warnings. It worked for a while, but as soon as the kids started finishing what they were doing, they started talking and getting up- I understand why they were doing it, but I didn't really come prepared to do anything with them. I tried to get them to be quiet so I could teach them a song, but they were too tired and out of control. 

About 15minutes before the end of the class period, the principal told me the kids could go to the playground. I let them go, and then my job was to watch them. I thought I had dealt with the toughest part of the class, when after two minutes these two kids came up to me. One of them started telling me that this other kid had insulted her (well, her mom, actually) and they said the insult in Arabic. I was shocked. I told them to go look for the kid who had insulted her, and then I told him to apologize to her. Then another girl came up to me and told me the other one had pulled her hair. I looked at the alleged hair-puller and she started whining. I couldn't really understand what she was saying, so I asked her in a firm voice: what happened? did you pull her hair? And she stopped talking, looked at me with a guilty face and then her eyes started to water...yes, she started crying. I told her to stop crying and apologize to her...little kids!

By the time class was over, I was exhausted. I told the kids I was leaving, and then a couple of them came running to me and gave me a hug. Not gonna lie, that totally made up for the previous two hours of hell.

Now, I have to decide what to do on Wednesdays: awesome food and the dreadful possibility of subbing or work at the office? I'll keep you posted!

Torn between two worlds

To Jewish people, I look Jewish; to Arabs, I look Arab. This has enabled me to experience both cultures- something not everyone is able to do. I've already talked some about the different treatment both offer to one another, but I feel like I've gotten the best of both worlds so far. With a few minor exceptions, I've been able to mold to both cultures and I consider that I'm in a very privileged situation. But I also feel like I'm not getting the full story on either side.

So far, I've noticed, that one could visit Israel without even noticing the very present Arab component of its citizens- they all speak Hebrew and English (in addition to Arabic), and you can't really tell them apart- at least I can't (but I've been told otherwise). The key to being able to tap into this, almost underground, culture is the language. That's the starting point, but in order to have full access, I think you need more than just that- I have the advantage of my roots being traced back to this part of the world; I'm not sure if that's the reason why people are more open with me, or if they would be just as open if I wasn't. 

At the same time, I've been really fortunate to encounter very open members of the Jewish community, like Aryeh, that have invited me to experience different aspects of the Jewish culture. Like you can probably tell from what I've been writing, I wasn't familiar at all with this culture, which I have found to be beautiful and very rich. Honestly, this has come as a shock to me, knowing that so many people have suffered as a result of the creation of the state of Israel. Now that I've been able to get to know the Jewish culture, though, I realize that its destruction, which was approaching quickly at the time when the Israeli state was created, would have been a terrible loss for humanity.

I'm a proponent of each individual being able to express themselves and their beliefs freely- as long as those beliefs are not detrimental or destructive of the human race. I'm fortunate enough to be experiencing the best part of both cultures and I think they both should be celebrated, but not at the sake of the other. Therefore, I'm torn; on one hand I feel that being able to experience the Jewish part of society is such a blessing, but on the other hand, knowing that my father and other Palestinians have struggled and continue to struggle to be who they are, makes me almost feel guilty for understanding the existence of Israel.

I'm starting to have deeper conversations with members of both groups, and I'm coming across very varying opinions on the subject. This is how I feel so far, and as my conversations and experiences evolve, I will be writing more about it, but these are some of my initial thoughts.

This weekend's visits

This weekend, I traveled up north with Maram. She knew I had only visited Jerusalem, so she wanted to make sure I also visited other cities close to Arara.

On Friday, Hannan, Maram's best friend, offered to drive us around to visit different cities during the day. Our first stop was Barta. Barta is a very interesting place. It is a city divided into two; one part of it is in Israel and the other one is on the Palestinian territories, but there is no check point (that's why we went). The citizens of both sides are part of the same family, but some of them are Israeli citizens, the others are not. If the citizens of the Arab part are caught in the Israeli side they face fines and they might even go to jail if they don't have the necessary documents. Hannan and Maram were telling me that even though it is so close by, because that part of Barta is actually considered the West Bank, they have the price level of the Palestinian territories, which is significantly cheaper. This is why, many people go to Berta (from Israel) to buy stuff.

The contrast between the Palestinian and Israeli territory is striking. It was like crossing over to a whole new world...it's difficult to describe, and unfortunately I didn't take any pictures. When we were in the Palestinian side, Hannan asked if I owned a Kufiya (the typical Palestinian scarf), I told her I didn't. Almost immediately, she stopped the car and went to a store to buy me one, while I waited in the car. She told me "now you're a true Palestinian".

After visiting Barta, we went to Ceasaria (pronounced Qisariya). It is a town located on the Mediterranean coast. It's historically significant because of it's location, and there are Roman ruins there now. It is a beautiful place, and we were lucky enough to have an incredible sunny day in the midst of these rainy past couple of weeks.

After Caesaria, we went back home, where we met Maram's parents. Mustapha, Maram's father, is a taxi driver, and he drove us all to Haifa to spend the afternoon. We went to the Beha'i gardens and to check out the temple. The Beha'i World Center consists of a set of gardens on a mountain with stair cases leading up to the Shrine of the Bab- the second holiest place in the Beha'i faith (after the Shrine of the Beha'ullah in Acre). Unfortunately, they're remodeling the dome, so I didn't see the Beha'i World Center in its full splendor. Still, it is a pretty incredible site. We got out of the car and walked around.  The guards on the bottom part were Arab, so Mustapha started explaining my story to him. They were all thrilled to have me, so they let us in (even though it was very close to 5pm- closing time). Some of the gates were closed, so we couldn't go up all the stairs to the dome. We then decided to drive up to the top of the mountain and make our way down, but by the time we got there, it was past five.

Mustapha tried to talk to the guard in Arabic, and he responded by saying, only English. Mustapha asked if we could go in, he said "No". Maram's father then tried to explain that I was visiting and it really meant a lot if he would let us go in. He refused to let us in. Another group of tourists came after us and were also talking to the guard. Because we weren't allowed in, we walked around, and started taking pictures on the other side of the gate. When we looked, we saw that the guard let the other tourists in. Nazek, Maram's mom, told me it was probably because she's wearing a headscarf, so they know she's Arab, that we weren't allowed in. It's impossible to know what the real reasons behind his decision were, but it's interesting that they automatically assumed that the fact that she's Arab is why- probably because it usually is.

After visiting the Beha'i site, we drove around a little bit more, and the sun started to set. We went to the University and saw the incredible view from there. We then went to dinner at a great restaurant with a view of the whole city- this time, at night, with all the lights. Haifa is just a gorgeous city, by day and at night. It is also a place where Muslims, Christians and Jews live side by side :)

After a delicious meal, we drove back. The day was filled with great trips and I learned so much!

The usual conversation in Arabic

I've noticed that there are certain questions that always come up in conversation when I speak Arabic to people. In the beginning, I thought it was just men that asked these questions, but I've realized it is a very cultural thing to do. I realized this weekend that this was the case, when men, women, and even a young little girl asked me these questions. Here's how conversations usually go:

One of the first questions after I start speaking Arabic is always: where are you from? well, in my case, that's a conversation in and of itself, but once they find out I'm half Palestinian, they ask me where exactly, and about my family name. It's interesting because every person I've talked to claims they know a relative of mine; some tell me they know of a religious leader in Lebanon that's a relative of mine, others tell me a political activist for the Palestinian cause, others a distant relative in Egypt...after seeing how huge Maram's family is, I don't doubt all of the above are true!

Well, once they know about my family tree and my traveling experiences, most (if not all) establish that I'm Palestinian. It is then that the more interesting questions start to come up, mostly trying to find out about my marital status. It usually starts by people asking my age- yes, here they ask you, no problem. After knowing I'm 24, the more direct ask if I'm married. If they're trying to be "discrete" about it they ask me who I'm here with; my parents, my husband? When they find out I'm not married, the religion question is usually the next to come up. I tell them I'm Christian. Some people are ok with it, but I've also had some interesting responses to my religious views. My favorite was when a taxi driver asked me if I would convert to Islam if a prospective husband asked me to- yes, he was talking about himself (being the prospective husband)...

I guess because marriage is such an important part of one's life here, that's what most conversations are about. It's interesting, too, because, not only your religion, but your ethnicity is really important here. I'm pretty sure, that if I wasn't considered Arab, I wouldn't be asked about my marital status or even get marriage proposals (by fellow Arabs, that is). I was also talking to Aryeh the other day, and although he's not religious and doesn't care, he mentioned that if he gets married, he would only marry a Jewish woman, because of his mom.

Everyone has the so-called "deal breakers" those traits in a person that have to be present or absent, in order for that person to the be "the one". I think more so here than anywhere else, maintaining ethnic purity is imperative.

The Culinary Experience

This weekend I got to experience what small town life is like in an Arab village in Israel. It's like any other small town, really, including the central role of food.

Upon our arrival, Maram's parents greeted us with one of my absolute favorite meals, Maqlube (or Ma'lube, depends on the dialect). Earlier that week, I had told Maram my mom knew how to make Arab dishes and Maqlube was one of my faves, so she had her mom prepare it for me- so sweet. Maqlube, by the way, means "upside down" and is a rice-based dish with vegetables and meat all cooked together in a pot. When served, the casserole is inverted, thereby earning its name. The ingredients vary from family to family, but Nazek's Maqlube had chicken, eggplant, tomatoes and cauliflower- delish!

I was really hungry, so I was happy when I got a generous serving of my favorite meal! When I was almost done, and almost full to the max, Nazek made Maram serve me yet another plate-full of Maqlube. This was like flashing back to meals with my Arab side of the family...I should have known better!- The rule is: always ask for a third of what you really want to eat. I think I ate half the casserole myself. I was SO full...

Then we went to visit Maram's grandmother- lovely lady. As soon as we arrived to her house, she offered me fruit and juice. I was able to escape eating anymore, but I drank a little bit of juice. I thought I was going to explode. We arrived back at home only to be welcomed by Maram's mom with tea and some cake.

The next morning, we ate a "light" breakfast consisting of bread, laban (like the middle step between plain yogurt and cheese, I guess would be a way of describing it), olives, scrambled eggs, tomatoes, cucumbers, and tea. Only to be followed by some real Arab coffee- it's really strong; like an espresso.

After sightseeing all day with Maram and her best friend Hannan (I'll talk about that in another post), we arrived home and we went to Haifa with Maram's parents and then out to dinner. They took me to a super nice restaurant with amazing views, and we had a very nice an copious meal- it started out with traditional salads and appetizers (fetoush, tabouleh, hummus, babaghanouj, tahine, among others..) and then we had some seafood. They went all out because they wanted me to have the best possible experience.

The next day, we spent it going from house to house visiting all of Maram's relatives and eating at each and every single one of their houses. They're all neighbors, and there's a lot of them, so we kind of did the rounds. I drank tons of tea, coffee and juice, and tasted all sorts of pastries, fruits, and nuts...After a morning of going around people's houses, we went back home and Maram offered me to rest a little, but I offered to help Nazek cook instead. After having had her food, I knew if anyone can teach me real Arab cuisine it is her.

She was stoked that I offered to help and the started telling me recipes for all these different dishes. I learnt some words in Arabic as well, so that was pretty cool. Maram and her mom couldn't believe I offered to help.  After stuffing some vegetables, her mom started getting everything ready for dinner, which was something different than what we'd been working on. For dinner that night we had an incredible bbq- Nazek grilled kefta (mixed ground beef and lamb with parsley and onion), chicken, lamb kebabs, and beef...a ton of meat! Well, guess who ate most of it?! It was all delicious, but definitely more than I needed to eat. This huge meal also included side dishes of different salads, hummus (of course), and bread among others. Mind you, this is what I ate after having had something to eat at everyone of the houses I had visited that day...too much!

Before going to bed, of course, we had some tea and pastries...I've definitely already put on a few pounds!

This morning, before we left, Nazek got up even earlier than us (at 6am) to make us breakfast- bless her heart. Not only did she make us coffee and gave us some pastries to go with it (you know, you can't just drink coffee...), but she also started preparing bags of stuff for us to take home with us; she gave us fruits and vegetables from their garden, dried Louisa leaves to put in the tea (she knows I like them), cake, the vegetables we prepared the day before, and some other stuff...we're set for the week!

It's been an amazing culinary experience, but I most definitely need to join a gym, if I want to keep eating like this!

Lost in cultural translation

My roommate, Maram, invited me last Sunday to go home with her and meet her family. She's from an Arab village in the north called Arara. I thought it was super nice of her to invite me and I was really looking forward to the experience. Before it all began, we had some drama go down. Oh, yes, small town drama happening even before we left!

Last Tuesday was the day of the Prophet, and we had the day off at school. Since Maram doesn't work on Wednesdays, she took decided to go home on Monday afternoon until Thursday morning. Then on Thursday after work (she's done at 3:20pm) her and I would take the bus to go to her village. That was the plan.

Maram left, and I spent the next few days with Areej and Mai. They were also planning on going home for the weekend (which was mainly the reason why Maram offered me to go with her- so I wouldn't stay home alone). When Mai found out I was going to Arara, she offered to drive me at 1:30pm, which is when she was leaving. My schedule is pretty flexible, and on Thursdays, I can do my work wherever I want after 1pm (as long as I work the number of hours I'm supposed to). I told her that sounded like a good idea, as long as Maram was ok with it- I also didn't want Maram going by herself. I thought Mai had talked to her, so I arranged to leave school at 1pm with Areej and catch a ride with Mai from home at 1:30pm.

On Thursday morning I went on a field trip with the kids to the Israel museum- pretty cool. Me and the kids were waiting outside for the bus, when I saw Maram arrive to school. She told me her mom had been preparing for my arrival, and that everyone was really excited to meet me. I was really happy to hear that. Before leaving she asked, today at 3:20pm, right? I told her that Mai had offered to give me a ride at 1:30pm, and I thought she knew. Maram was really upset and confused, but she really had to go, so we agreed to talk when I got back from the museum.

When I arrived back to school, I saw Areej in the teachers' lounge and she told me Maram was mad at Mai for having offered to give me a ride. It didn't seem like Maram having to go by herself was the issue, but Mai's offer to drive me. I didn't really understand what the big deal was, so I asked Areej. Areej, my cultural translator, I helped me understand a bit better what the situation was; in Arab society and culture, it is rude to have a guest and not offer them food (I was about to experience that for real). Maram was worried that if I arrived at Mai's house, I was going to be fed, and then I wouldn't be hungry for the meal her mom was preparing me.

I hadn't realized how big of a problem accepting Mai's offer was until that point. I asked Areej how I could fix the situation. She said she would talk to both of them again and arrange for me to go with Maram. In the end, Maram's cousin ended up picking us up and driving us to Arara. End of the drama, for now.

The most unpopular tourist in the suq

Walking around the suq in the Old City can be tiring; everyone's trying to get your attention to get you to buy something. Speaking Arabic gives one a different perspective on the whole situation, and people really treat you differently. This is mainly the reason why I am friends with some of the shopkeepers there.

Sometime last week, I met a tourist from Santa Cruz, CA at the hostel (Sta. Cruz is like 30mins from Monterey- for those of you who are unfamiliar with the area). How funny is that?! His name's Dave and he is a total surfer dude- says "awesome!" and "rad" all the time! He was traveling by himself, and we actually got to hang out and go sightseeing together. It was pretty neat because after talking for a while, we realized the different ways one can experience the same city. 

I was telling him about my friends in the suq, who, at the time, were helping me look for an apartment- he was pretty surprised to hear about my interactions with the shopkeepers. Later on that day, we decided to go to the wall and walk around the old city. On our way to the wall, we passed by the area where all my friends hang out, so they started talking to me in Arabic. Everything happened just as usual, except when they saw I was walking around with Dave...they were being nice to him and all, but they looked suspiciously at him. Dave felt it too. As soon as we left the store, he said he thought my popularity had been affected by his presence. 

The next day, I went to work, and then I passed by the suq to check on one of the apartments that might be available. I saw the same shopkeepers as the day before and after the usual enthusiastic hellos, the questioning began; who was that yesterday? Is he your boyfriend? If I were you, I would be careful…he looks like a fox! – I couldn’t do anything  but laugh. It was weird to have to explain myself to these people that I barely know, but, I did anyways. 

We continued on with our conversation and then I decided to buy a couple of scarves from one of them. I had been in his store a few times before and had my eye on two beautiful scarves. I finally decided to buy them. When I asked Hashem how much they were he said I could have them for free. He had already given me a pair of earrings (my welcome present), so I really didn't want to take them for free, so I asked him how much- He said, just give me 20 shekels (about $5-6). Although I'm pretty good at bargaining, it was nice to not have to fight for the price I wanted :) So, despite the initial hassle, I still got preferential treatment.

About an hour later, I saw Dave. He told me he had been walking around the suq and the same guys started asking him about me and where I was. Then, they tried selling him stuff from their store- just like any other tourist. 

From that day on, we tried to avoid their street, but I think everyone in the suq knew who we were.

Learning the hard way

Wednesdays and Sundays I work at the main office. It is located in Talpiot, a different area from the school. When I met with Inas last week, I came to the office so I thought I knew where it was. This morning, I asked Areej to drop me off at the school (since she was already driving there) and I would take the bus to the office. I remembered bus number 12 passed by the school and the office, so I didn't think it would be too difficult. 

Let me preface this story by saying, I'm pretty proud of how I've managed to get around thus far. I've taken the bus, taxis and walked a bunch as well. I think I have a pretty good idea of my surroundings, and although I cannot read maps, I have a general idea of where things are, or so I thought.

Areej dropped me off at 8:15am. I went to the stop, and the bus took about 10minutes to come. I hopped on, and didn't ask for a return ticket (Side note: in the buses here, when you buy a ticket, you get to use it twice if you use it within an hour of the first trip). I actually thought to ask for a return ticket, but I was pretty sure I was going in the right direction, so I decided not to. I took the bus on the same side of the street as I usually take other buses going toward the Old City, because that's going away from home. Yes, in my head there's only two places you can go: the Old City or Beit Safafa- everything is in-between those places, so you either go toward home or away from home...my world was about to change.

I was looking out the window all throughout my journey, looking for signs or places that I recognized, so I knew I was going in the right direction. Mind you, I've never gone from the school to the office, so I don't really know what I'm looking for, but I'm hoping to recognize something. After a few minutes, things start to not look familiar at all. I thought it might have to do with the fact that buses sometimes detour a bit so there are more stops in-between. It's funny how the mind works to rationalize certain situations...about 20minutes later, I decided I was definitely going in the wrong direction. Suddenly, Rachel- the intense girl I met on the bus from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem- came to mind. She said you should always pay attention to the direction the bus is going or you'll get lost. When she said that, I immediately thought to myself "that would NEVER happen to me". And there I was; lost because I took the bus in the wrong direction!

I got off the bus, but I carefully selected my stop. It looked like we were in somewhat of a residential area and there was nothing around except for houses. I waited till I could at least see a store because I hadn't had breakfast...I waited about 5-10 more minutes until I found the right stop, making the whole trip about a 25minute bus ride. I got off, bought a power bar and some cookies and waited on the other side of the street for the bus in the direction I wanted it to go.

The bus, of course, took extra long. I waited 25minutes in the cold, but at least I had some cookies!

I finally got on the bus going the right direction. It took so long, I thought I might have the same bus driver- how mortifying would that have been! I arrived at my destination two bus tickets later and I was about two hours late. Oh, and did I mention I forgot my phone at home? Yes, so I couldn't call my boss to tell her I was alive! I still needed to walk to work from the bus stop. Easy enough, I thought. 

It's super cold out and I'm very late, so I'm walking as fast as I can. I then stop because there is a red light for pedestrians, but I notice that there are no cars around. I wait and look in every direction and I see no cars, so I decide to cross. Guess who was waiting for me on the other side of the crosswalk? Yes, a police woman. She asked me to show her my ID or passport. I only carry my CA driver's license, so I don't loose my passport, and she asked me to see another form of identification. Well, I didn't have another form of id. She asked to see my wallet. I told her I don't carry my wallet around, just my id and atm card (it's true, I mean, why would I carry all that stuff here anyways?!). She didn't believe me, so she asked me to open my bag. I did, and showed her everything she pointed to. Frustrated with me, the policewoman asked me, "why did you cross if the light was red?". I said "well, I'm late to work, actually. I got lost because I took"- "wait, you work here?"- she interrupted me- "where do you work?". I told her I work at Hand in Hand, and showed her my planner (it's super cute). She said, "oh, ok. Well, I was going to give you a ticket, because you can't cross at a red light, but take this as a warning. While you are in this country, you need to respect the laws here". "Yes, ma'am". I thanked her and apologized again before leaving and then, off to work.

Way to start off the day!

Valentine's day...oh man!

February 14, 2011 in Jerusalem and I wake up sick as a dog. I had been feeling kind of weak all weekend long, but had been trying to take care of myself, so I thought I was doing much better. Monday morning I realized I really wasn't. I didn't go to work. Instead, I stayed home and slept a bit more.

It's funny because no one in the house knew it was Valentine's day. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, and be the super American about it. I mean, I totally would have if I felt like it, but feeling like I was, I didn't think I could do it justice.

Anyways, the day carried along, and I didn't receive a single call- not even my mom, who I've been talking to almost every day. It's not a big deal at all (so, mom, don't freak out). What's funny is that at about six in the afternoon my phone rings; it's one of the shopkeepers from the old city! I gave him my phone number when I was apartment hunting...big mistake! 

He called to tell me he missed me and that he'd like to take me out to dinner sometime. He didn't just say it like that, but he kind of declared his love the Arab way: "Oh, Mariam, my heart hurts because you're not here, and I think of you so much..."- all of this in kind of a whiny voice I can't stand. This guy, by the way, is like five ft. tall, and has a speech impediment of some sort, so he pronounces the letter "r" kind of funny...sweet guy, just not my type at all. 

I didn't really know what to say to all that stuff he was saying, so I kind of laughed. I also made it clear that I don't want a boyfriend or a husband. He said he'd call me the day after...I asked him not to. End of the conversation.

Oh, Valentine's day!

I have a home!

The other day I was at school and Areej, a second grade teacher, approached me to tell me that she'd heard I was looking for an apartment. She then told me she was looking for a roommate and that I could go see the apartment that same day! I was super happy!

I went to see it, and had coffee with two out of my three roommates to-be; Areej and Maram. They are both teachers at Hand in Hand. The house is nice and bigger than I expected. After seeing these tiny places in the Old City that looked super crappy, this place is like a palace! Granted, I wasn't expecting to share a room with someone else, but at that point, I was definitely more open to that option than I would have been before. After briefly thinking about it, I asked to live with them, they accepted and we decided I would move in on Sunday.

Woohoo! I have a home!

My new house is in Beit Safafa, an Arab neighborhood. I would give you my address, but there are no street names or numbers here- haha! I live in a two bedroom apartment with three other women; they're all teachers. We all share rooms; me and Areej live in a room and Maram and Mai live in the other room. They are all super sweet!

I'm really happy with my living situation because I'll be able to experience what it's like to live as an Arab single woman (given that I live with three of them). I know I'm going to be living quite the conservative life, but I came here to experience the culture and learn the language, not live like I would in the US. I most definitely lucked out with this situation, and I can already tell, my Arabic is going to improve SO much!

Although it took a while to find housing, I definitely needed to experience what it's like to live in the old city for a while to know that's not where I want to be. Areej's proposal definitely came at the perfect time. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to share the next few months with them :)

The go-to person for apartments in the Old City

Finding an apartment in Jerusalem is definitely a challenge.

When I first arrived to Jerusalem, I stayed at the Lutheran guest house in the Old City. I absolutely fell in love with the Old City and wanted to live there, so I started asking around. I have already written about the shop keepers, taxi drivers, and hostel staff I talked to. They all told me they would call me back if they heard of anyone who was renting. I figured there had to be a source of information that I didn't know about. I was right.

Finally, mid last week, when I went to visit my friends the shopkeepers and they directed me to the source: the barber in the Christian quarter. Apparently, Anton the barber is the one person that everyone gives their keys to when they're looking to rent their apartment, and he also collects the rent. Who would have known?!

I went into his shop as Anton was cutting someone's hair and he started asking me questions about myself and what I was doing here; whenever you ask someone about a place to live, they usually interview you to make sure they want to help you. When Anton finished cutting the guy's hair, he started making some calls. Unfortunately, the people he called either didn't answer or the price was too high. 

In between calls, he started telling me about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the Old City. He mentioned that the location is great, but the apartments are not that modern. He also made a note about how much people are in your business if you don't set the boundaries (Arabs, for the most part). He told me that if you invite someone over, they'll totally come over again without notice and invite themselves to hang out (even when it's not convenient for you). I can definitely relate to what the barber was telling me, so I decided to rethink whether or not to live in the Old City.

I had already been living in the old city for a week and a half, and every time I walked through the shops where my friends work, I stopped and said hi. Lately, though, they started asking questions about the people they saw me with. It's whatever because I only see them a few minutes a day, but to get that kind of hassle every day, I'm not sure I'd be so chill about it after a while.

I was torn; on one hand, I want to have the experience of living in the Old City because of the history and culture, but on the other hand living in the newer part of town would be more comfortable, but also, more like the US...oh what to do?!

The barber

Ending the first week at school

I can't believe it's the end of the first week already! I have been a tutor and a sub, but I'm hoping to do other things. The more I'm at school, though, the more teachers I meet, the more requests for help I get. The teachers have started to realize I can be an asset to them in many different ways, and now they all want my help. Being that I work at an organization with limited resources, it is only natural that this happens. This is just my first week, but I know I'm going to struggle managing all the responsibilities they want me to have. I'm going to need to keep focused on what tasks I am here to accomplish and work toward achieving them.

I just met with Durit, the educational counselor, and we had a very interesting conversation. She is really excited about figuring out a way to integrate conflict resolution teaching for both the children and the teachers. We are trying to find out what the best way to go about it is, but I'm very pleased to see how willing she is to embark on this new initiative. This is what I came here to do and seeing her level of interest, I want to work with her the most. Sounds like the product we come up with will most definitely be applied to the school. This is very exciting for me because I will be a part of the planning, and I will also be involved in the project's implementation :)

Durit talked about creating this program, and designing certain activities, but also bringing me on board to talk to the kids who are having problems. I find this fascinating because I will learn, first hand, what these children are struggling with. Although it sounds like a pretty big responsibility, I'm happy I will be working with Durit in these counseling sessions. I will also meet one on one with the kids and sometimes offer them extra help with the classes they are not doing so well in; so that through academic achievement, they can also overcome their personal problems.

After meeting Durit, I spoke to Raeif and he wants a set plan with explicit goals to be achieved. I'm really excited about this, and it sounds like they're giving me a lot of room to be creative in contributing to the school. It also sounds like they're not just saying that they want me to do it, but they're giving me the resources and the opportunity to make it happen.

Yay!

Subbing

On Tuesday morning, I was supposed to meet with Jessica, another English teacher. She was sick, so instead of talking to her, I had to sit in at her class. I wasn't really given any information about what I was supposed to do, so it sounded like I was just there to babysit. The first class they told me to go to was with the seventh graders. In the beginning they behaved, but shortly after, they went wild. It was difficult to control them because I have absolutely no power and I was given no teaching material or instructions.

I ended up having to sub for her other two classes classes that day; the other seventh grade class and a ninth grade class. The second class went a little bit better because I went in with an activity for them (I had learned I couldn't just expect them to do the work they had been assigned by the teacher). By the time I taught the third class, things went more smoothly- having older kids definitely helped. I was EXHAUSTED by the end of the day, but I got a love letter from one of the students, Sandy, so that totally made my day.

The next day I came in and the same thing happened. This time, I went in ready to teach. I started with the seventh graders (the second group) and helped them review for their test on Sunday. Things went well, and although it was difficult to keep everyone's attention at once (it's a big class, there's about 25 students) I think I managed pretty well- definitely better than the day before. Then I went with the ninth graders, and we did a reading together- that was a great class. Finally, I went with the other seventh graders, and not only did I have to sub for English, but also Math. Since I don't speak Hebrew (their professor teaches that in Hebrew), I just gave them a worksheet to work on. Things went kind of ok, until it was time to switch to English. That class has three distinct levels, and I don't know how Jessica does it, but she keeps everyone engaged by giving them different exercises. Since I only learned about the different levels from the kids themselves, I didn't come prepared at all. I sort of managed to give them things to do to keep them quiet, but I felt like a police officer more than anything else.

I understand why I needed to be there, but I'm going to make sure teachers take their vitamins every day so no one else gets sick!

Majd

It's been an interesting first week. After my preliminary meetings with Nadia and Raeif, I came to school the next day to meet with Shachar. Shachar is the English teacher at the 5th and 6th grade levels. From what Nadia told me, she's amazing at what she does, but sometimes difficult to work with. Nadia warned me that Shachar hadn't had good experiences with other volunteers, so she might not be nice. She said she wanted me to help Shachar because she's overwhelmed with the amount of work she has to do.

In my first conversation with her, Shachar wasn't all that nice to me, but agreed to meet up with me the next day. She then explained to me that children in the same grade and class have varying levels of proficiency in English. This is because some children have the opportunity to travel to the US and other places, so they are way advanced; others are not interested at all, so they cannot keep up with the class; and others are at their level. She told me she wanted me to help her with the kids who were way behind the rest of their class. She said there are many reasons why these kids fall behind, but I learned one of those reasons can be because of personal problems (at home or in their communities).

I taught my first student, Majd, on Monday. He's in the fifth grade and speaks absolutely no English. Shachar told me to take him out of the class and tutor him. I took him to the library and we learned very basic things. I speak enough Arabic to help him learn, but he was great. By the end of the class, he seemed to be happy and satisfied with his learning. Shachar later told me that she was thrilled with what I had done, and that she really wanted us to work together. I guess all she needed to know was that whoever is working with these children legitimately cares and wants to help them.

I know I didn't come here to teach English, but it felt great to see Majd so excited about learning. I have seen him around a couple of times and he always waves and shows me his biggest smile- " Hi, Mariam" he says all excited. Makes me smile every time.

First days at Hand in Hand

Hand in Hand is the school I will be working with in these six months. There are two different parts to the organization; the school, where the children go to class, and the office, where all of the administrative work is done. As soon as I got to Jerusalem, I was told to contact Inas, who works at the office. She told me to talk to Nadia (the principal of the Junior school) and then come to the office.

I went to the Hand in Hand school on Sunday for the first time. (Instead of Saturday and Sunday, the weekend here is Friday and Saturday- because of Shabbat, I think). I met with Nadia, the principal of the Junior school, who was very interested to hear about my projects while in Jerusalem. We talked about my possible contributions to the school, and, unfortunately, what they need the most help with is teaching English. I told her that since I'm going to be working so many hours, I could probably help out with that, but that it was, by no means, to be my main focus at the school.

After speaking to Nadia, I went to Raeif's office, the principal of the High School. He asked me what I wanted to do with my time, and I told him that I needed to ensure that whatever I did, related to my degree. He put me in touch with two key people: Anat and Durit. Anat is in charge of a leadership program at the school. I might work with her, and see if we can integrate some conflict resolution activities in the program. Durit is the educational counselor. She offers the children psychological support in order to deal with their problems inside and outside the school.

Having met with both Nadia and Raeif, I realized they hadn't talked to one another. They also had different ideas of how I can contribute to the school. On one hand, I think Nadia sees me as a resource to be utilized differently every day depending on what's needed. Raeif, on the other hand, trusts that I can contribute to building curriculum and programs to be applied right away. I can do a little bit of both, and I think that's what will end up happening, but I am more interested in Raeif's approach.

I have decided the best thing to do is to talk to everyone that wants my help and make my own schedule. It won't be finalized until I talk to the people in the office, because I also want to see how the school works from an administrative perspective. I have a meeting scheduled with Inas on Sunday morning. Hopefully, I'll be able to make a meaningful contribution to that part of the organization as well.

I'm interested to see how this all turns out :)

Jamming in the Kibbutz

Aryeh loves music and he plays the base. Every now and then, he gets together with his friends for a "jamming session" where they all get together and play their instruments. Aryeh invited me to join them to one of the sessions they were having in the Kibbutz.

The Kibbutz are communities that mix the ideals of socialism and Zionism. It's communal type living, where people have their own houses, but there are also common living spaces (like a kitchen and dining room). A bunch of Aryeh's friends came to the jamming session and they were all Israeli. Although some of them made an effort to speak to me in English, they were all speaking Hebrew amongst themselves. I couldn't really contribute to the conversation except for the occasional smile and nod.

The music they played was amazing and even though I didn't understand anything that was going on in terms of their conversation, I got to enjoy the music. They played some Israeli music and it was all in Hebrew. Sounded great.

I feel privileged to have been exposed to yet a little bit more Jewish culture.

My friends the taxi drivers

I see Aryeh almost everyday. I usually go to his house to hang out, and he lives far enough to take a cab. I tried to walk once, but I got lost and had to take a taxi. I'm learning my way around slowly, and I now started to use the bus system. In the meantime, I've been taking many taxis and meeting lots of interesting folks. Because I've taken so many taxis, I feel like there's only a few of them I haven't met!

One of the first days I met a taxi driver whose name was Refad. Refad took me to Aryeh's house once and he got lost, so we had a chance to talk a little. We talked a bit about one another in Arabic, and of course, he gave me his business card. 

The other day I was walking from the guest house toward Mamilla (the mall) to check out some stores before I took the bus to go to school, and there was Refad. He was in his car and when he saw me, he yelled "Mariaaaaaammm!!!!" and I went over to his car to say hi. He asked me where I was going, and I told him the school, it was my first day at work. He said he'd take me. I told him not to worry about it, but he insisted. A lot. So I got in and there was this other guy there that had been waiting while me and Refad talked. 

Refad spoke to me in Arabic, so the other guy wouldn't understand, but also because he was so excited. I asked him where we were going and he said we were dropping off the person that was already in the car and then he would take me. 

We dropped him off and then we really started talking. He was telling me about the hardships of being an Arab and living in Jerusalem. He also told me the complications of being Palestinian because no one really likes Palestinians. We usually hear that all the Arab countries sympathize with the Palestinian cause, but in reality, no one wants them. Jordanians especially, he said. I knew about that already, but it just felt more real hearing it from him. 

The first time I was in Refad's taxi, he treated me like an American. Very nicely, but talking only about the wonderful things in Jerusalem. This second time, it felt as though he let his guard down a bit and started being more honest. He is a good and hard working man. He told me to please call him if I ever needed him. 

I love having good and meaningful conversations with taxi drivers. I can't wait for my dialect to get better so I can ask and understand more and better :)

Shabbat Dinner

Aryeh invited me to join his dad and his family for Shabbat dinner. Friday night, when the Sabath or Shabbat begins, there is an important meal that takes place. It is a special dinner for many reasons, but it is mainly an occasion for the family to get together and share a meal. I felt really honored to have been invited to such an event, so I accepted the invitation.

Aryeh and I arrived at his dad's apartment and I met his dad's wife and Aryeh's brother, Eli, was also there. Before we had dinner, Aryeh's family introduced me to the prayers and songs they sang before the meal. Then they proceeded to all sing together and then the father said a prayer for both of his sons. The meal then began.

Before eating bread, there is a tradition to wash one's hands with a little cup- you pour water on one hand three times and three times on the other (although the number of times may vary depending on tradition). After washing your hands you're not supposed to speak until you have the first bite of bread.

The eating then began. We started out with hummus, or as they pronounce it khumus, a salad, and other appetizers, from which I knew kebbe, or in Hebrew, kubba. I thought that was it, but then the main course came along- it was stuffed cabbage. The cabbage was stuffed with rice and meat. Then, along came desert with fruit, sweets, and tea. It was a great meal and I got to learn a little bit more about the Jewish culture and tradition.

I'm so grateful I was made a part of it!

Linda and her family

I'm making new friends. There is this lady that works at the guest house, her name is Linda and she's a Christian Arab. Every morning, before going to breakfast, I see Linda and Juliette, the women that clean the rooms on my floor. They are super nice and sweet, and they absolutely love that I can speak Arabic!

A couple of days ago I saw them in the morning and Linda ask me when I was planning to leave the hostel. I told her "tomorrow, in shah Allah (God willing)". I told her about my living situation and that I was looking for a place. She said she'd help me look- I think, by now, all of Jerusalem knows I'm looking for a place to live! That morning, I really wasn't feeling like sightseeing because it was pouring, so I just hung out at the lobby and used my computer. I got really cold so I went upstairs to find another sweater and I ran into Linda who invited me over to her house for coffee.

I accepted her offer and she took me to her house with her family. Her family was super weirded out that I was there and so Linda introduced me as a Palestinian coming back to the land for the first time. Her parents immediately welcomed me into their home. It was a tiny house with three main rooms, a small kitchen and a bathroom. It was just Linda and her parents there when I first arrive, but soon, other members of the family would come home.

Linda's mom came into the room and started talking to me. By the way, all the conversations were in dialect, or an effort on my part to speak it/understand it. We talked for a little bit and then Linda brought the Arab coffee she had prepared. In case you're not familiar, Arab coffee is black and super strong, but they can make it really sweet. So we had a couple of cups of it, and while we were talking she mentioned that she also had Nescafe. I smiled and (I guess I nodded) because she was speaking all in Arabic and all of a sudden she said a brand that I recognized. She took that as a sign that I wanted to drink more coffee, so after the two cups of coffee, she brought out a big mug of Nescafe. I was feeling pretty jittery after all that coffee and almost no food in my stomach.

More visitors came. First, Linda's niece. She's this cute little 13 year-old girl with quite some character. When she came to the room she just stared at me in silence. Then Linda told her to come give me a kiss and she said: "but who is she?!" Linda responded I was her new friend. Ten minutes later me and the little girl were besties :) although we couldn't understand each other very well, I think my inner child connected with her.

Then Linda's brother, Hanna, came to the house. He was in shock and in the beginning a bit rude, I would say. He started asking tons of questions and I was a bit intimidated at first, but then when he found out I was half Palestinian and was making my utmost effort to try to communicate with them, his way of communicating and his demeanor completely changed.

It was nice because we were all hanging out and laughing, just spending some quality family time together. We even went on facebook and they asked me to help them upload some pictures. By the way, tremendous pictures! They are super Arab!! Hanna had like 17 different pictures of him looking tough and posing in front of his car- he works at a car repair shop. Then he had a picture with a guitar so I asked him if he played and he said, oh no, it was just for the picture! Hilarious!

At a certain point in the conversation Linda started making sandwiches for everyone and she made me two! I told her I wasn't even hungry (with all that coffee I drank, I was pretty full), but she insisted. They were salami, pickle and hummus sandwiches- not necessarily a combination I would have come up with myself, but they were good. I could only eat one because they were pretty big. The family insisted I kept on eating, but I didn't want to because I was going to dinner with Aryeh's family later on that night. They kept on insisting, but I just left the plate with food on the table and thanked them a million.

Then, Linda brought out the coffee, again. My stomach was such a mess!!

After hanging out with the family for about four hours I was exhausted because I had been speaking Arabic non stop! Linda asked me if I wanted anything else and I told her I was tired and would like to go back to the hostel. Her and her niece walked me until I found myself in the suq and I walked all the way back.

What a nice Arab family gathering experience I had :) 

SS/SK

Since I got to Jerusalem, I have been trying to find an apartment. Right before I left Monterey, I contacted this guy on craigslist about his one bedroom apartment, but I think it was a scam. That fell through, so I kept on looking.

Many posts on craigslist and other websites looking for roommates include in the description of their desired roommate "ss/sk". I wasn't really sure what that stood for, so I looked it up. Turns out ss is shomer shabbat and sk is shomer kashrut.

SS means that the person follows the rules associated with the Sabbath. I learnt about the Sabbath from conversations with Aryeh. The Sabbath is the day of rest in Judaism. It is the period that goes from one hour before the sun sets on Friday until there are three stars in the sky on Saturday. Depending on the time of the year, it starts and ends earlier or later. Following the rules of the Sabbath includes not being able to work (it is the day of rest) or use electrical devices. There are special meals and prayers for this day as well.

Although Aryeh is not religious, his family is, so they prepare Sabbath dinner. I was invited to join him and his family for this special occasion. His father took the time to explain the rituals to me and they gave me a book so I could understand the prayers and songs they sang. Dinner had many different courses and lasted longer than it does usually (especially when compared to the US). It kind of reminded me of traditional family lunches in Spain on Sundays. I felt really special being a part of it, and was very grateful to have been welcomed to their house.

Going back to the descriptions on housing ads, let me elaborate a bit more on SK. Keeping kosher means following certain dietary guidelines. I knew the basics of eating only certain kinds of meat from animals that had been killed without suffering, but that was about it. From Aryeh and Alona (at different times) I learnt more about the subject. Turns out, the only animals that are kosher are those that can chew and have cloven hooves. That mainly excludes pork and camel. In terms of fish, only fish that have scales and fins are allowed. Not only are there restrictions in terms of the meat, but also how the animal is killed. There are certain ways that reduce animal suffering, so in order to be kosher-certified, the butcher has to study these methods.

In addition to the meat restrictions, eating kosher means that milk products and meat products cannot be consumed at the same time (so, no cheeseburgers). Because these two types of products should not be consumed together, they should not be cooked together- this means different utensils should be used when cooking one type of product or the other.

When I went out to dinner with Richard and Alona, we needed to make sure we went to a Kosher place as Alona keeps kosher. So there are two types of kosher places, meat places and dairy places. From what I hear, Jerusalem is a pretty easy place to keep kosher as there are many options in terms of eating out, whereas Tel Aviv isn't as much.

In terms of finding an apartment, I actually wouldn't mind keeping kosher for six months. I think it would be a good way to experience a different culture, but I'm not sure if potential roommates would be down with it.

Visiting friends making new ones

My first morning in Jerusalem I went to have breakfast and met Tom, a German volunteer here at the guest house. We started talking and he told me he's a cook. He works at the hostel's kitchen and is going to be in Jerusalem for a total of two weeks. He's 21 and speaks with a cute German accent.

When I was having breakfast I met Richard, a New Yorker traveling the Middle East. He had already visited Turkey and Syria and was planning on going to Egypt after being in Jerusalem, but changed his travel plans due to the instability. We talked a little bit, and shared basic information about one another- super nice guy.

The next morning I saw Tom again, and I had added Richard on Facebook, so we agreed to all get together later on in the day. After breakfast I decided to go thank my new friend Ramadan for helping me out with my mission. While I was at the store, I took the opportunity to ask him about learning Arabic. He made his son Khaled, who was helping him out at the store, walk me to AlQuds University. 

I walked in and asked about information to take Arabic classes. The man immediately directed me to a classroom in session. I thought he misunderstood me, so I tried to make it clear that I hadn't signed up for classes just yet, but wanted some information. He still interrupted the class and the professor and students looked at me and asked what I wanted. When I said I wanted more info, the professor asked me to sit in on the class and observe. She then made me a part of the class and asked for my input and all!

After class, the lady took me to the offices and spoke to me in Arabic along the way. It's funny because when I told her I didn't understand what she said, she yelled at me and said: "what do you mean you don't understand? You're Palestinian!" and then she repeated it slower.

When I went to the office, everyone spoke to me in Arabic and I was given the info in Arabic...when the professor left the office, I asked in English, just to make sure I had understood everything correctly. I did- yay! small victory! While I was there, I asked around to see if anyone knew of an apartment I could rent and May (a girl that works at the office) said she did. 

After I got the info about the Arabic classes, I checked out the apartment. The location was amazing, right in the middle of the Old City in the Christian quarter. The only problem was that the lady who lives there has like three cats. I have nothing against animals, but three cats is a bit much (especially when they make the house smell a bit funny- ok, that's putting it very lightly- the place smelled like cat pee). The room for rent, was pretty amazing, though. Very spacious and with a queen bed. From the window you can see the whaling wall...picture that! The price wasn't bad, but the whole living room and cat situation...not sure I could handle it! I told her I'd think about it.

I went back to thank Ramadan after all of this, and he told me again that whatever I needed I could always come and ask him. He also said he wants to take me to his house so I can meet his family- so sweet. 

I was walking back to the hostel and Hashem, a shopkeeper, invited me to his store. We started to talk in Arabic and English and he told me he made the earrings and necklaces in the store. After talking for a while, he invited me to have some tea and we talked a bit more. Right as I was about to leave, he gave me a welcome gift- a pair of earrings. He told me to go visit him again soon and gave me his business card. * Side Note: Everyone here has business cards, it's so weird! Cab drivers, shopkeepers...everyone!

After my little adventure in the suq, I went to the guest house and hung out in the lobby, where I saw Richard from NY and I met his friend Alona. It was Richard's last night, so he had all these places to visit and things to do before he left. Alona and Richard met years back in college and it was their first reunion after ten plus years. They were super nice and invited me to join them sightseeing and for dinner. We went to the church of the Holy Sepulchre and the Western Wall (aka whaling wall). What two amazing places! I'll post pictures soon, promise. I cannot even describe the experience of being there and the feelings involved, but it's pretty special.

It was a day packed with activities and new friends. Jerusalem rocks :)

The mission of the day

After having breakfast, I went to the information center to try to find myself a map. I talked to Vyji, an Indian who married and Arab and now lived in Jerusalem. We started talking and she told me where all the places were. In addition to trying to sell me 17 tours, she gave me 500 brochures with discounts to all these different restaurants, but I had a mission. 

My mission: to buy a blow dryer. Because I had no idea of how the outlet situation was going to work here, and my blow dryer is really big and bulky, I decided not to bring it. Turns out it is SUPER cold in Jerusalem, so I absolutely needed one. I asked Vygi where I could find one, and she told me there was ONE store in the market that sold electronic products. I asked her how much I should pay for it, and she said anywhere from 100-150 NIS (about 25-30 USD). So I went for it.

I started navigating the suq (market) streets and asking people around. I didn't want to pull out my big ol' map, because I didn't want to look like a tourist, but I look like one no matter what. I just tried to remember my path, so I could get myself back to my hostel. I totally got lost in the suq in Rabat and did not want to repeat that experience (especially by myself)! 

I followed a couple of people's directions, but I still couldn't find it, so I asked a shopkeeper. His name was Ramadan, and he freaked out when he found out I could speak Arabic. We talked for about ten minutes and then I asked him about the electronics man. He told me to go up the stairs, turn right and pass four shawarma places- it should be on my right-hand side. Interesting directions, I thought. Just in case, he gave me the man's first AND last name, so I could ask in case I couldn't find it (I mean, the directions were just so clear...how could I not?). 

Well, I didn't find it. So I asked this guy who was trying to sell me shawarma if he knew the guy. After he almost had a heart attack when he heard me speak Arabic, he pointed right across the street to this tiny little green door, a.k.a. the electronics store. I talked to the sweet man in the store and told him that Ramadan sent me. He gave me this awesome blow dryer for 100NIS. I didn't bargain, and I feel like maybe I should have just because I was in the suq, but I'll give myself a break given that it was the first day and I really needed it!

Mission accomplished!!

My first friend :)

Days before my arrival to Jerusalem I met Luba, another MIIS student who lived in Jerusalem a few years back. She put me in touch with her friend Aryeh. I added him on facebook and we started messaging each other before I got here. He offered to help me carry my bags from wherever I was dropped off to my hostel- super nice, right? I felt kind of bad, though, so I didn't call him until I got to the guest house.

I called Aryeh as soon as I got there, and we met up and went out for a drink. Walking around the city was pretty cool, and meeting Aryeh was a very smooth transition to my new life in Jerusalem.

Aryeh is an Israeli American who's lived in the US and now lives here. He's my age and speaks with an American accent- awesome! He's in transition right now; finished high school and went to the military (In case you didn't know, Israel has mandatory military service for all its citizens including women). Now he's taking his tests and trying to finish college over here. He's also working. This is perfect for me because it means that he has a lot of free time!

He's a super nice and interesting guy. He's teaching me lots about Jewish culture and religion, which is fantastic! Yay for my first friend in Jerusalem!

Tel Aviv to Jerusalem

Upon my arrival in Tel Aviv, I was advised to take the "nesher", which is like a mini-van/taxi. My trip to the hostel was quite interesting. I sat next to this American girl who was pretty intense. Her first question to me after introducing ourselves was: "are you a believer?". I was confused by what she meant; a believer in what? God? which one? So I told her I'm a Christian. She almost had a heart attack she was so excited. She started telling me about the Church she goes to, and...sounded intense.

She wouldn't stop talking to me in a tone that was pretty relaxed and kept on smiling and closing her eyes; almost looked like she was high. When she wasn't talking, she stared out the window and sang songs pretty passionately (closing her eyes and all). She told me about how she felt it in her that she needed to be back in Jerusalem and that it felt SO amazing to be back.

When she found out I was looking for an apartment, she suggested we live together...I made no comments, just smiled and kind of looked the other way.

I finally made it to Jerusalem after about an hour ride. I was dropped off at the Jaffa Gate and had no idea of where to go, so I called the Lutheran Guest House, where my mom made a reservation (thanks, mom!). I had two huge suitcases, a backpack and a handbag. I was right in the middle of the old city, with my rolley bags...not that great of an idea. Then this very nice Australian man helped me out. He took me down the stairs and up the stairs until I finally arrived!

The guest house is super nice and the people here are very welcoming! What a great place to be!

Welcome

I arrived to Tel Aviv on February 1 after many hours of traveling. The first challenge: passport control. Security in Israel, from what I had heard, is pretty intense. I have heard horror stories about people having to answer countless questions, having to take their clothes off, having their bags looked through, their computers checked…you name it. So I came prepared.

I had my American passport and a little folder full of documents. Because my American passport was stamped when I went to Morocco, I thought I might be asked questions about that, so I brought the acceptance letter to the Critical Language Scholarship program. I also brought the letter I received from Senator Boxer congratulating me for receiving this award. I did this, first, because I think it’s pretty cool, but also to show them that the US government supports my learning Arabic in other countries.

I, of course, brought my acceptance letter for the Boren Fellowship, with the amount of money I will be receiving and the dates. I also had a bank statement in case they needed proof that I am able to support myself financially during my visit. I had read in some website that they might ask for that as well, so I brought it along, just in case!

I also brought a letter of invitation that Hand in Hand kindly prepared for me. This was crucial because Hand in Hand is an Israeli organization. The letter also contained contact information from the people at the school, with their phone numbers and e-mail addresses.

I saved all my files from my computer, and just in case, I made sure my underwear matched J

I arrived in Tel Aviv and after walking up the stairs, along some corridors I ended up in this huge room with a ton of little stands that had signs on them; the ones to the left read: “Israeli Passport” and the ones on the right said: “All other passports” or something along those lines. I stood in one of the lines to the right. I checked, and each little stand had its number. I went to number 24. That’s my sister’s soccer number, so I figured it might mean good luck.

The lines were going pretty fast. I noticed they were asking people a few questions, but all in all, passport checks lasted about 5 minutes. That’s, of course, until they got to me. The guy looking at my passport first asked me if I had an Israeli passport (I get that I look Jewish a lot). I said I didn’t. He then proceeded to carefully examine my passport. He got to my middle name and looked at me surprised. “Abou-Khinin? What is this?” he asked. I told him it was my father’s last name. A series of questions started coming up, and just about 3 minutes later he told me: “Well, I don’t usually do this, but please stand right over there, and a police officer will be right with you”. "Fantastic!" I thought. I waited about 15 minutes and this guy dressed all in black asked me to follow him. As we were walking, people standing in line were looking at me. I think they were totally judging me, but that might have been just me (it most likely was).

He took me to a room and there were a couple of other people there. There was also a tv, and a Spanish soccer game was on- weird, hugh?. Anyways, this other guy came to the room and called my name. I followed him to the police station. I then sat there with yet another man asking me questions. I was there for about 30 minutes and then they let me go.

I made it!!!

…and welcome to Israel! 

Thank you

Before I begin blogging, I would like to acknowledge everyone who has made this experience a reality.

Specifically, I would like to thank the Monterey Institute of International Studies and its faculty for offering their students the possibility to participate in the International Professional Service Semester (IPSS). For those of you who may not know what this is, IPSS is a six-month practicum course that combines an internship and a research project. Students can choose what organization to work for anywhere in the world. I chose and was welcomed to work for Hand in Hand in Jerusalem.

To them I am also thankful. Thank you, Hand in Hand, for giving me the opportunity to be a part of your organization for a whole six months. I am very excited to learn more in-depth about the mission, how it is carried out, and what the challenges of such an organization are.

I would also like to thank the Boren Fellowship for funding this incredible opportunity. Thanks to this award, not only will I be carrying out a research project and doing an internship, but I will also be learning some more Arabic. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to achieve these career goals and helping get one step closer to fulfilling my dreams.

Not only are these organizations indispensable for my being here, but also the people in them who believe in me and my potential. Thank you for letting me be a part of your respective institutions. I will do my very best every day to accomplish all that I have set forth to do.

The reason for my success thus far in life are the people who have been a part of it, who have encouraged and supported my dreams, and who have helped me find ways to accomplish them. There are many of you out there that deserve credit for this; family, friends and professors. I would like to specially mention my father and my mother.

Without my father’s example of work ethic and perseverance I would not be here. Through his hard work, he was able to provide me with endless possibilities for my career and my future. I am incredibly fortunate and thankful to be able to have my first experience working on the ground in the land to where my roots can be traced back.

I would like to thank my mother for being such a strong and positive role model. Thank you for instilling in me such strong values and sense of responsibility toward the others. You teach by example; I know what it means to be an extraordinary person because you are, and that is what I aspire to be.

To the rest of my family, friends, and professors, thank you for your being there for me. Thank you for offering words of wisdom and encouragement when I need them, and thanks for also listening. I cannot stress enough how important you are in my life and in helping me become the person I want to be.

Thank you all for making this possible.